Monday, October 4, 2010

The Alleged Confused and French Issue

Fork Fest Review
The Alleged Confused and French Issue

September 2004


The tough, stringent, redundant, groundbreaking, and award-winning bits of drivel, recipe and steamy-as-a-freshly-baked croissant gossip that you are accustomed to in the Fork Fest Review, will not be present in this issue. Instead everything will be based on hearsay or ouï-dire, as the French might say.
       So be prepared. Things that might not have happened, did. The journalistic and legally appropriate term, “alleged” will be inserted freely through out the following pages and nothing I have said so far makes any sense, which pretty much makes a lot of sense, coming from me.

Supper Club brunch was hosted by Corrinne and my hot little ears have been informed that, “Basically we just stuffed ourselves.” And with what, you ask? (or you know, since you were there)

Mimosas and quesadillas
Goat-cheese and asparagus on puff pastry
Corn Fritters and not Girlish-gab
Wild mushroom frittata

. . . and before I figured out that the supper club brunch was not the girls’ night out affair, full of lovely ladies and shoe talk and so on, this was an exciting paragraph or two, full of dirty lies – but now, just facts. Corrinne’s menu also included grilled chocolate sandwiches – something I am still trying to figure out – like dehydrated ice cream.

Quelle, Fromage, Again?

Let’s see . . . Karl and Karin sort of just got back from France and I think they had French food, stayed in French hotels, spoke French with an American accent, rented a French car and drove on French roads. They stared at French things and bought French things and took plenty of pictures of fine French things and that’s pretty much what they did – a lot of French things, but did they see Lance?

Bob and Carole got “French” the other night and watched Diva. That’s French cinema. Bob recently went to his local burger joint, “Q” and ordered French fries, but they brought him a salad instead and so he got all French on them and demanded zee fries and got them, for free even. Is that French?

Bad French Noc-Noc joke – or why they hate us and use Mayo on their fries. Yes, the fries they didn't invent with the Mayo they may or may not use . . .

“Noc Noc”
“who’s there?”
“mayonnaise who?”
“May yo knees always be broken for telling such bad jokes.”

Le Mac

The next big soiree will be at Miss Jeung’s party palace on Sunday September 26th at 5pm. Accents not required.

Le Piste Du Jour

I know that you want to know that I just spent 19 days in August, humping a pack 12 (or more or less) miles a day and eating all the best that the Freeze Dried world has to offer and my bank account could afford and my bear canister could hold. My Menu consisted mostly of beef Jerky, dried apricots, power bars and freeze dried red beans and rice and more red beans and rice and then more red beans and rice and I can only say that if you ever get a chance to stop in at the Vermilion Valley Resort – try the meatloaf.

Where I should have been

C+C+K+K+C+H –B= Lunch at Richard Carter’s Pope Valley ceramics studio, where Carmine and Hideo got to spend a couple weeks slingin’ clay, stoking the fire and soaking their toes. They also got to whip up a lunch for the gang with home grown veggies, figs and prosciutto and iced coffee to cool off. Then, back at the K&K ranch, burgers and Caesar salad and berry dessert topped off the dinner menu. Two meals in one day in Pope Valley, adds up to a great time had by all. 

There’s Still Space on the Page

If you’ve not had a chance to see the first season of “The Office”, see it – and then see the just released
(I think, but this is bad journalism and bad research) second season.

Also please note that everyone has received an exemption coupon, which is really more like one of those spots you might land on in a monopoly game (hey, there’s an idea! Carole – do not pass go or go past or whatever you have to do to cook the next five dinners in a row on a weekly basis) and you are given the option to bow out of the cooking portion of the gathering and use your favorite take-out, so start collecting all those menus on the doorstep and bon appetite.

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